Spoken word

BLAME

I've heard 'it’s not your fault' said with the intention of comforting,

Don't they see that doesn't stop us from hurting.

While at first it serves as reassurance to the voice of self-blame, when you think about it there's more it proclaims.

It's a loaded phrase, that to me conveys,

You've considered it was my fault too.

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MOSAIC

We are a mosaic of the ones we love and have loved.

I pick fresh daffodils every spring because my sister and cousins did every year growing up.

I take my friends flowers when they've finished a performance because it's what my grandad always did for me.

I started singing because my best friend wanted us to start a band, when we were 6.

I learned how to braid others’ hair, when I was 8, because my mum always braided mine before school.

I watch films and shows that my friends like because my grandma told me 'those things matter'.

I can't walk over 3 grates because the girl I met in French class always pushed me away from them - so I didn't get bad luck.

I always order sweet potato fries, if they are on the menu, because it's what me and my oldest friend first bonded over.

IT'S COMPLICATED

I have a lot of thoughts I don't expect you to understand - I confuse myself with them.

See, I used to be infuriated when people naively enforced an obligation of love - regardless of whatever harsh treatment families may inflict.

I found my blood boiled from the invalidating justification - but at the same time, if you spoke badly of them, I'd be on their defence.